Spoof: Google to Acquire Facebook

Based on Google’s brilliant rebranding of Writely and their fiscally wise decision to pay $1.6 billion for YouTube, I decided to save Google some work and just write the inevitable press release myself:

Google logo

Google To Acquire Facebook for $188.79 Billion in Cash and Stock

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif., March 8, 2007 — Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) announced today that it has agreed to acquire Facebook, the worldwide #2 social networking website, behind News Corporation’s MySpace.

Attendees of today’s press conference applauded for thirty-seven minutes when Google CEO Eric Schmidt announced the acquisition. “I’m amazed Google was able to get this site to come into its stable for only $188.79 billion — I mean, that’s only $11,000 per user!” prominent stockholder Jason Albright, 39, said after the announcement. “I’m really glad I put all my investing capital into this company — it’s stuff like this that makes it all worthwhile.”

Upon completion of the acquisition, the website will be known as “Google Friends & Communities.” The only permissible colors on the site will be white, black, and #e8eefa powder blue. Though it will initially be available only as “pre-alpha,” it is expected to attain beta status within seven years. For an unknown reason, Google will continue to provide its home-grown social networking site, Orkut, though will cease all development and seemingly abandon it.

About Google Inc.
Google’s innovative search technologies connect millions of people around the world with information every day. Founded in 1998 by Stanford Ph.D. students Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google today is a top web property in all major global markets. Google’s targeted advertising program provides businesses of all sizes with measurable results, while enhancing the overall web experience for users. Google is headquartered in Silicon Valley with offices throughout the Americas, Europe and Asia. For more information, visit www.google.com.

About Facebook
Founded in February 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook helps people better understand the world around them by developing technologies that facilitate the spread of information through social networks. The site has over 17 million registered users in over 47,000 geographic, work-related, collegiate, and high school networks, and according to ComScore’s MediaMetrix report, Facebook ranks as the seventh-most trafficked site in the United States. Facebook is privately held and headquartered in Palo Alto, Calif.

Caution Concerning Forward-Looking Statements
This document includes certain forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995, including statements regarding Google’s and Facebook’s ability to improve their services, create new business models and content-owner opportunities, integration plans, the expected timing for the closing of the acquisition and the plans to operate Facebook independently. These statements are based on the current expectations or beliefs of management of Google Inc., and are subject to uncertainty and changes in circumstances. Actual results may vary materially from those expressed or implied by the statements herein due to (1) changes in economic, business, competitive, technological and/or regulatory factors, (2) failure to receive regulatory approval for the acquisition, (3) failure to retain the levels of traffic on the Facebook site, (4) failure to compete successfully in this highly competitive and rapidly changing marketplace, (5) failure to retain key employees, (6) other factors affecting the operation of the respective businesses of Google and Facebook, and (7) the failure of Facebook and Google to work together effectively. More detailed information about these factors may be found in filings by Google, as applicable, with the Securities and Exchange Commission, including their respective most recent Annual Report on Form 10-K and Quarterly Report on Form 10-Q. Google is under no obligation to, and expressly disclaims any such obligation to, update or alter their respective forward-looking statements, whether as a result of new information, future events, or otherwise.

One Response to “Spoof: Google to Acquire Facebook”

  1. At 13:30 on Mar.8 ’07, Aaron Bird said:


    This post has been submitted to Digg.
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